Schitthaus.com

I drift my stolen taxicab around the corner and accelerate down Broadway. I can see the lights and scrolling marquees of Times Square approaching in a blur. At somewhere near top speed I form a third lane through traffic waiting for the light to change without hitting a car. A pedestrian that happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time gets bent by the force of 3000 pounds of American steel honed into a narrow blunt edge, backed by 200+ horsepower, then rolls up over the windshield behind me. The car hood pops up and all I can see is the bright golden yellow of the paint job with a big streak of blood. I don’t let up on the throttle. Car horns honk, people yell. I hit some things that I’m not sure what they are. Finally the hood flies away and I’m back off down the street, on my way to shoot some wiseguys off of a crane with a sniper rifle and lob grenades at union shop flunkies refusing to work, all for a couple bucks. And I’m thinking to myself “Fuck, I’ve missed playing Grand Theft Auto.”

Grand Theft Auto IV is the latest offering from Rockstar Games, and continues with the grand tradition of a massive world for you to live out your Id’s wildest fantasies, namely random murder and car theft, with a little erotic debauchery thrown in to boot. No, the game franchise has not grown much spiritually, but it has grown in many other ways.

Grand Theft Auto IV is a bit of a misnomer, since this is actually the sixth standalone game that falls under the Grand Theft Auto banner (I don’t count stuff like Vice City Stories, though maybe I should. But I’ve never played it and don’t know anyone who has, so that shit doesn’t count.). In this installment you play Niko Bellic, an eastern European immigrant who’s come to America to make a new life yourself through the encouragement of your cousin Roman. Little is known about Niko at the beginning, but as the game progresses his story unfolds and you find that the life he left behind in the Balkans is a lot like the life you’re leading him through in the States. He’s a gun for hire and seems to have no qualms killing your boss or your daughter’s girlfriend or whomever for some dough.

Fans of the Grand Theft Auto series will find that the controls are pretty much the same as they’ve been from the beginning, although it does feature optional usage of the PS3’s Sixaxis controls, which I’ve never used, so fuck it. You’ll also notice that the graphics are pretty much the same, at least from what I can tell on the PS3 version. There are some richer textures here and there, but it’s not a huge graphical leap forward. Then again, if you’re expecting that, you may want to get into another series of games. GTA gives you more of what you love about GTA: depth, crazy depth. Liberty City (that is, New York City, for all intents and purposes) is massive, full of sharp looking buildings and familiar landmarks (one particularly cool shot was in the previously mentioned sniper mission where the Statue of Liberty stands in the background as you’re holding your sniper rifle. Someone join me in a chorus of America, the Beautiful. No? Then fuck you anyway.). GTA IV lets you blast your way through all five boroughs with all of the familiar bodegas and businesses (there are even bootleg Duane Reade drugstores).

There are many new features that help improve gameplay a lot. My favorite new feature is the GPS system. Whenever you’re on a mission the vehicle’s GPS will automatically give you the best route to where you’re going. No more fumbling through neighborhoods to find that contact anymore, just follow the yellow line. You can even set your own waypoint on the GPS to find the quickest route to food (to refill your life meter), your girlfriend, or the strip club.

There is also a PDA type of feature managed by your cellphone. The phone manages your contacts and allows you to call them for jobs or to just hang out. Becoming better friends with people will unlock special functions such as free cab service from your cousin or delivered to you (sort of) guns and ammo service from your Rasta friend Little Jacob. This is also where you enter your cheat codes, though I’m trying to play it legit for as long as possible.

I can’t really say that I’ve found any negatives, yet. The game felt a little slow to me at first. I really only got into it once I started putting caps in the asses of punks around town. While I am an apologist for the lack of graphical innovation, I am a little disappointed that they aren’t at least a little better on a next generation console. I frequently have a hard time reading text messages and other things on my phone, though that could just as easily be because I have a bitch tv and not a sweet new plasma or something. I would also like to see more and varied save points, though I’m sure that will come with more time and the auto-save pretty much saves the game when you need to. It just sucks to have to drive for five minutes or so just to save the game to turn it off. Finally, I’m not as into this story as I was the San Andreas or Vice City stories. I think Rockstar has purposely doled out info on the Niko character slowly so you’re not totally sympathetic to his situation from the beginning, which is why I’m having a harder time connecting, I think. Thematically it’s a cool idea, and it prompts me to play more so I can find out more about this dude, so all in all it’s not such a bad thing. It does seem to have a more “big picture” feel to it, as opposed to San Andreas, where you started off with a good story, then branched off on a number of subplots which didn’t feel like they had anything to do with the whole purpose of the game (in particular, the fiery Latina girlfriend. She sucked.).

If you’re wondering whether you will like this game you should ask yourself “did I like the older Grand Theft Auto games?” If your answer is yes, then you should like this game. It builds on all of the prior games strengths and fixes some of the weaknesses. If your answer is no, it’s not going to win you over and make you a GTA believer. But I can say that the more I play it the more I want to play it, and I can’t wait to see what happens next and what new kinds of stuff I can get Niko into. GTA games provide a total gaming experience, from shooting to driving to Sims like relationship management. They’re the perfect kind of games for people who can’t decide what kind of games they want to play, and this one is the finest of the bunch as of yet.

And even if it loses it’s luster after another couple of weeks, I can always pop it in and go on a kill crazy rampage if I have a rough day at work. Beats paying for therapy.