Schitthaus.com

Get ready, because I’m going to talk about baseball. This is pretty rare, but we’re on the cusp of a big moment for not only baseball, but all of sports.

Barry Bonds is quickly approaching Hank Aaron’s all-time home run record of 755, and a lot of people are pissed off. I know that the bulk of my readership (that’s 3 out of 5) are not sports fans, but this is an important story. This is something people will be talking about for the rest of our lives, or at least the rest of the year, and you should know at least something about it. Let me preface this by saying I am not a baseball fan. If you are reading this and are a big baseball fan you may think that I have a pretty cavalier attitude about the whole thing, and I probably do. There is a lot of real rage about this approaching landmark that I don’t really understand probably because I’m not a baseball fan.

I’d rather get in a groin punching contest with Mitch “Blood” Green than watch a baseball game on television any day of the week. But, like any other red-blooded American male I like to take a baseball game in at the park. Or at least drink a shload of beer at the park. I, like almost all American males in my demographic, also collected baseball cards with a fervent passion, so I’ve got a little residual love for the game thanks to cats like Dickie Thon and Rusty Kuntz. Imagine putting Dickie behind Kuntz in your lineup! Or on top of him. It’s all hot.

As such a kid I knew a pile about stats and records and whatnot, and the most monolithic record of them all is Hank Aaron’s 755 career home runs. That there is a lot of dingers. The previous record holder, some dude named Babe Ruth, had held that title for 39 years with 714 home runs. As kids we held that 755 in awe, and never did I imagine that I’d see someone break it. (more…)