Talking Shit About Movies - Baby Mama
The married man often has to make sacrifices. Some might say this is the principal difference between being single and being married. You have to shop for shit you don’t care about when you’d rather be doing anything else from time to time. Sometimes you can’t listen to totally great music because “that guy is screaming” and get treated to the mewling tones of the Dixie Chicks. And, most frequently, you get stuck watching a movie you know you’re not going to like all that much because she wants to see it. Sure, there’s a movie by a great writer and director out in the theater now but you can’t see it because it’s about mixed martial arts, but hey, here’s this movie about pregnant chicks!
I’ve been a rock over the years in our relationship. I refuse to watch chick flicks, or things that set my Utero-Sense into the warning zone reserved by movies that are definitely chick flick-ish. It’s worked out well thus far. I’ve dodged many chick flick bullets, and am a much happier man for it. But I got drug into this one, but not exactly kicking and screaming, because of Tina Fey.
Ah yes, Tina Fey. What red-blooded American male can’t get into some Tina Fey? She’s easily one of the sexiest females in show business. She’s not classically beautiful, but she’s very fetching. She rocks the glasses, which for most people I know brings out that whole “I want you to read to me… naked” vibe. And she’s devilishly funny, being responsible for Mean Girls, a surprisingly funny movie that gave us the last time Lindsay Lohan was genuinely hot, as well as creating 30 Rock, one of the most refreshingly funny and original shows on television today. I can’t say that I’m a Fey fan from way back. She was anchoring SNL’s Weekend Update during my “I’d rather rip bong hits and go out drinking” phase. And on the nights that I did opt to watch it, she was on the other side of the desk from Jimmy Fallon, a no-talent knobgoblin that would rather chuckle at himself than, you know, act. But the taste of Fey has been acquired, and is longing to be sated. Fortunately enough for any man suckered into going to see Baby Mama, Fey and her cleavage (yeah, she’s got cleavage!) provide enough to keep us pushing through what is pretty much a tired and predictable movie.
Fey plays driven career woman Kate Holbrook. Kate is in her late 30’s, married to her career, and has got baby fever. Attempts at artificial insemination (where did that ever go? Sperm banks are comedy gold!) fall fruitless, and her OB/GYN informs her that her uterus is T-shaped and there’s a million to one shot that the seed will ever be planted. See what’s happening there? This movie features prominent usage of the word uterus and visits to an OB/GYN. There’s even stirrups! Better bring some General Foods International Coffee!
Looking for an alternative, Kate turns to Chafee Bicknell, a facilitator for linking up barren would-be parents with uteri for hire. (The Chafee Bicknell subplot is kind of humorous, featuring an obviously older Sigourney Weaver that is pregnant and having kids. Ew.) The womb in waiting? White trash wildflower Angie Ostrowiski, played by Amy Poehler, who was coerced into subletting her baby box by her idiot white trash boyfriend.
When Angie and her boyfriend split, Kate asks her to move in with her to help her with the pregnancy. The unlikely pair find common ground and become buddies, before a terrible secret threatens to tear their relationship apart. Will this odd couple remain friends when all is said and done? You’re just going to have to watch to find out! Or think about it for a minute or two (give or take a minute or two) and you can probably figure it out.
The performances on the whole were pretty good. Fey was pretty swell. The cameos and lesser stars help make things interesting, first and foremost Steve Martin, who plays Kate’s eccentric hippie boss. The secret of his success? Have a big penis. As any of us successful men can tell you, this is the truth. There’s also the black guy from 40 Year Old Virgin as Kate’s door man, who plays the movie’s Jiminy Cricket with a little ghetto slang. Siobahn Fallon, who used to be the annoying red-haired chick on Saturday Night Live (any relation to Jimmy? Did I care enough to look it up? No!), is kind of lame as the birthing coach with a speech impediment. She does help provide a funny running joke about rubbing olive oil on the taint to prevent tearing which I found pretty funny, mainly because they used the word taint. That word just makes me laugh whenever I hear it or think about it. Taint. Tee hee.
All in all I’d say it wasn’t a bad movie. I sure didn’t hate it, but I definitely wouldn’t say that I loved it. I kind of knew this was going to be a chick flick going into it, and I was correct. That being said, the ladies will probably enjoy this movie a lot more than the guys. And, if you’re a Fey-Phile, you’ll probably enjoy watching this movie, too. Spoiler alert, Tina Fey has pretty sweet legs, too! The whole movie just seemed a bit broad (no pun intended) for the main person behind 30 Rock. There are many layers and subplots for you to get into, but they’re all rather predictable and/or stale. Career woman wants baby, career woman finds love, woman deals with crazy mother, two polar opposites find common ground and become BFF… It’s all been done before. Perhaps with a little more nuance and quirk (two things Fey has mastered in her body of work) this could’ve become a very good movie as opposed to merely an alright movie. But, then again, nuance and quirk don’t really make for box office boffo, and that Audi won’t pay for itself!
In summation, Tina Fey, her cleavage, and her legs. How much is it worth to you? Is it worth nine bucks and sitting through a chick flick? That’s for you to decide, but knowing what I know now I probably would have waited for it to come out on video. But I also would be firing up the Google Image Search for “fey, rack.”