Well, I guess we all knew it was real. You too can get your own Hat FM right chere.
Maybe we’ll just consider that my little peace offering since I have been neglecting my blogging duties. So I’m sorry. Now go buy yourself a hat that can tune in the radio.
I suppose I’ve mostly been busy because I am now a puppydaddy. We decided that one incontinent dog was just not fun anymore, so we took that and doubled it. Actually, she’s totally awesome. She hardly makes a toilet in the house anymore. I’ve even taught her to sit, shake and come and we’ve only had her for a week and a half. How ’bout them apples? No, you will not get any photos. Primarily since the digital’s battery charger is MIA and we cannot make them happen. Maybe everyone’s favorite art director will get some sweet pup shots this weekend at the bbq.
Speaking of bbq, still haven’t called someone about a keg yet. Is that a bad thing? Does anyone know how easy or uneasy it is to get one? We may be doing many many cans of beer instead of a keg, but I hope not. You’ll just have to come by and find out, I reckon.
I guess another reason I haven’t posted in a while is that there hasn’t been a lot worthwhile to share. I haven’t found any more videos of dancing/wrestling cans of Kung Fu chicken soup, and the web has been pretty lame. Pretty lame except for Icanhascheezburger.com. Look, I can’t figure out if this site is totally stupid, or totally hilarious. I think it is partially both. Guess that solves that riddle. My recommendation is to go to the site, go to the very last page, and work your way to the beginning. Then you’ll know what I can has cheezburger?, I has a flavor, and I has a bucket are all about. The best that I can figure it is some total nurdz with catz took pictures and captioned them like a 13 year-old intarwebz gamur. I guess it’s funny to imagine cats talking like that (and walruses). I have Every Day Should Be Saturday to thank for hooking me up with this site, because of their pretty funny college football version of these photos.
OK, I think I hear Cathouse on in the background. Got to skeedaddle.
Well , its been a minute. deal with it. life is busy somtimes all the times.
So , whats new ? well , lets see. Bollywood Alx Dunn has relocated to my couch city and seems to be diggin it. I’ve decided to “part ways” with Hagerstown Mag. Mark Gonzales will change your life…and Hanes has designed and launched the worst fuggen drawers in the free world.
now , I have the pleasure of owning four pair of these sweet shorts and everytime I look at them I’m pretty sure my brain bleeds. These are MENS BOXERS with NO FLY. Who thinks to check these things when purchasing said items. I walk in , I grab two packs , scan the clearance rack. pay. done. upon installation I come to see that I received a defective pair. scratch that , make that a defective pack. scratch that , these things are made like this! I think somebody would call it a “feature” !
well , I now have a feature every time I wear a pair of these , I pee sideways! hows that for a bonus ? Thank god my bosscleans the bathroom.
also , My non-microwave safe cup actually caught fire in the microwave this morning. who makes a travel cup thats not microwave safe ? the same people that designs for Hanes , I think. Seems some ad wizards had to put a metal emblem on a cup , attached with some sort of rubber glue that is flammable when it gets nuked. brilliant. thanks much.
two good shows at the Ottobar coming up , June 5th welcomes Lavender Diamond , Noble Lake and Entrance. shoud be a great show. I’ll be there , snapping away. June 21st is the Panda Bear show , I suggest getting tickets immediately. Someone described my view of him as the second coming of christ , while I think I lack the religious views to complete that statement , I will say he’s making music thats unlike anything I’ve ever heard. you’ll check him out if you know whats good for you.
And finally , I’m heading out of the country in July ! Mexico here I come , got my US Passport on Friday , talk about quick turnaround! thanks US gov. keep it real.
I’ll also be completing the busiest weekend coming up , which includes trips to Hershey , PA. and Kent Island , MD also Good ole’ Hagerstown for the Metal and Meat BBQ on Sunday. Monday will be a day of rest , to say the least.
I don’t have much time, but I wanted to put some things up. First of all:
Have you ever seen such a thing? Madness! The dance by itself would’ve been stupid, but the spliced in wrestling? Classic.
Now why on earth would I know or care about the chicken noodle soup dance? If you look at the “blogroll” on the side of the page I have links to various sites, most of them sports related. Too Much Rob Benson is a blog by an NBA Developmental League player named Rod Benson. It’s an entertaining read and he put up three new posts today, one of which mentioned this dance. Has anyone else ever heard of this? Oh well, time for some chicken noodle soup with a soda on the side.
I’ll be back later this week with my thought on the Mayweather-De La Hoya fight and pooping at the office. And did you know the Chuckster put out a new book last week? The spine shall get it’s first crack tonight.
So, here’s what I had been meaning to tell you. I got Thrashin’ on the Netflix, it is simultaneously just as bad and as good as I remember it, but for totally different reasons.
Problem #1: Moms gives him $30 bucks, not to be used on beer, for his trip out there. What the fuck is that going to pay for? 300 bags of ramen? $30 ain’t shit in California, I presume. Problem #2: I don’t even think that when skateboarding was at its gayest that downhilling was something anyone really cared about. I guess it gave more head to head drama for the climax than a pogo-off.
Did I mention that Cory has cultivated the Patrick Swayze circa Road House look? Yes, it does always come back to Road House. Suck it. Keep in mind that this was 3 years before Road House came out, too. So Swayze cultivated the Cory Webster look. How ’bout them apples?
Yadda yadda yadda… Lots of funny clothes and bright colors. I forgot how neon the skateboarding world was back then. Bad news for everyone, really. Neon clothes are some gawd awful shit, let me tell you what. Cory and the rest of the Ramp Locals (totally uncool “gang name,” I would shoot the Ramp Locals on principle alone.) go shred around Venice Beach and do sweet acid drops off of stuff. Dang… He even stops to see a freestyle demo by Per Welinder. For any of you that don’t know what freestyle skateboarding is, you better recognize. Get an education below.
See? If dudes that look like that can excel at something in the skateboarding world, it has to be the dumbest thing ever. Difficult? You bet. Dumb? And how… But, there was an advantage. Piece of ass Not Jodie Foster was there. It was love at first sight.
Enter the Daggers. This is a much cooler skate gang name. The Daggers are the baddest (and raddest, don’t forget the radness) bunch of skateboarders in Venice Beach, which pretty much puts them in the running for baddest skateboarders ever. Led by the fearsome and totally homoerotic Hook, played by some dude that you shouldn’t ever care about, though he kind of looks like Richard Greico, and NO ONE should care about him, either.
Wouldn’t you know it? But Not Jodie Foster’s brother is Hook! Some real West Side Story shit happens. Lots of dudes get rad with it, etc….
I’m not going to summarize the plot any further, because the story is really like a delicate onion with many layers to be savored one at a time. Only that onion is covered in shit and griptape. I will, however, give you a number of things that should encourage you to see this movie, or at least bow to its greatness.
1) The Music: Where to begin… I think it’s amazing that I haven’t seen this movie since I was about 12 and I still know pretty much every song in it. Amazingly scary and stupid. For starters the theme song was sung by Meat Loaf. Yep, Bitch Tits Bob… When I think skateboarding music, I think Meat Loaf. Nothing like a little Bat Out of Hell when you’re trying to rip some roast beef grabs on the halfpipe. And there’s the appearance of the Red Hot Chili Peppers in their full heroin glory. Hillel Slovak and all. Fortunately there are no cock socks, but they look grungy as ever. They even performed one of my favorite Peppers songs of all time, “Blackeyed Blonde” off of Freaky Styley.
2.) The Gear: Seriously, how did I look at this movie when I was10 and think “holy fuck! Skateboarding is rad as shit!” There’s really no good reason. They throw shit together that I couldn’t pick out at a Goodwill under the influence of an 1/8 of mushrooms and a can of Redi Whip. Lots of neon, and some sweet headwear. The guy from Loverboy rocks a totally 80’s headband, and Dave Grohl has a Gator-esque fedora, without killing his girlfriend. I will now sleep with all of these guys at once.
3.) The skateboarding: Alright, looking back on it this was probably some next level shit. But with the advances in tricks that have been made in the past 20 years (hell, even the 10 years following the production of the movie) one can’t help but think that they’re doing some really cheesy shit.
4.) The Joust: So Hook and Cory Webster decide to “settle this shit” with a joust. They get on either end of a ditch with what looks like half a nunchuck with a koosh ball on the other end, then they both drop in and wack at each other. Really? This is a joust? Why don’t the both of you get in your underwear and have a “not in the face” pillow fight? Nancy boys. But you’ll definitely never forget it.
5.) The quotes:
“That’s a cab-rye-o-let. That’s Hungarian for fast car.”
Hook says something funny about breakdancing to a breakdancer. I forget what it was, but it was something like “breaking is over.” You’d just have to be there.
5.) The Innovation: Okay, so the tricks were corny and the music was gay, but at least it inspired someone to make a rollerblade take on it and call it Airborne, which is one of my favorite “it’s two in the afternoon and I’m hung over, fuck it I’ll watch it” movies of all time. Seriously? If it were any more similar they’d have to call it Thrashin II: Electric Boogaloo.
If that didn’t make you want to rent it you have no soul. Oh, and there is a scene where all of the toughest skate gang in all of Venice Beach stands around and watches Hook spazz out and play air guitar. Or you can catch this montage with the dialogue en Espanol! Is that something you might be interested in?
